What does the fox say?

狗狗穿丝袜 (NSFW)

China, world's most populous nation and fastest-growing economy, is poised to become the planet's next superpower. (The U.S. had a pretty good run of it, or whatever.) As such, the animals of China are in a unique position to make their global move.

The first play for dominion has been made by the dogs of China in this display of 狗狗穿丝袜 or "gou gou chuan siwa" or "dogs wearing pantyhose" or "Chinese dogs blatantly trying to seduce us before they kill us and eat us and rule the planet."

Warning: it's hot, but do not be fooled.

Thanks to Sharp Daily for breaking this story.

...

Testimonials

More to come!

Parasitic Tongue Louse (NSFW or any other place)

Look, I'm at work, in a beige office cubicle, and I don't have much time to research this, but this "Cymothoa exigua" (aka "tongue-eating louse") came to my attention via one of our few but incredibly dedicated and intelligent (clever, exceptionally discerning) readers.

It's a tongue parasite! A vampire! It attaches itself to your (if you're a fish) tongue and then sucks all the blood out till your tongue atrophies and then it acts like it's your prosthetic tongue.

DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR MOUTHS OPEN! 

Please click here or here for more information. Thank you, intrepid reader, and thank you "WTF Evolution?"

Gross!

20 Animals That Have More Emotional Baggage Than You

#11: chicken

From I'll be Dead by the Time You Read This: The Existential Life of Animals, courtesy of Buzzfeed

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

Giant Scary Albino Pancake (fish)

This creature was recently discovered off the coast of Bangladesh. It is called the Giant Scary Albino Pancake (fish). It eats krill and cameras. If you see one, SWIM AWAY!

The Common Wren

This is a wren. Wrens are small passerine birds living pretty much all over the world. They eat insects and sing chirpy songs with no lyrics. They are plentiful and mostly inconspicuous.

If you look out your kitchen window right now, you will find one sitting quietly on a branch outside thinking about how it wants to tear the flesh off your face and use your hair for its nest.

EASTER IS COMING!

May Jesus save our souls.