Tragedy turns into inspiration as eight models are slain in cold blood at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in Berlin earlier this month.
A shipment of luxurious textiles carried dozens of stowaway chameleons from their home of Madagascar, to unleash a rainbow of terror at the Balenciaga show. Confused and hungry from the long journey, these go-with-anything lizards had mistaken several Eastern European models for their natural source of food, the praying mantis.
Upon identifying this food source they went about hiding themselves in plain view until the time was right to strike.
Uga Visczevslovich was the first attacked after an ill-fated decision to strike this pose for the Berlin media. Shortly afterwards she was overtaken by a throng of lizards in a dark corner backstage and her bones were picked clean. Upon finding her, photographers discovered she was dead only after four rolls of film, when they noticed she wasn’t moving quite as much as usual.
Seven more Balenciaga models were picked off one by one as they left the runway.
“We didn’t zink anyzing about ziss” said hairdresser Mita Zeus, on seeing seven models lying at sharp angles strewn unconscious about the floor. “Das ees und regular sing to zee at Fashion Week Berliner Yes? But zey still look fabulous und chic.”
But as always, in fashion, minor setbacks spring forth new ideas. Chameleons are renowned for their gift at blending in to any environment, which has quickly made them a sensation of the Fashion world. Adaptability and reinvention are the cornerstones of this multi-billion dollar industry, and the chameleon has what it takes.
Whether in the jungle, on safari, or sunbathing at Clooney’s villa on Lake Como, the chameleon is the perfect accessory and will always find a way to complement your ensemble. Why have a silk scarf in every color when you can purchase one well- trained chameleon at the paltry price of €150,000
As for the murder and mayhem? Forgiven! As Lagerfeld says, while fanning the chameleon clinging to his lapel, “We can forgive zis faux pas of murdering a few unnecessary girls. What zey have given us as ze perfect accessory is zo much more.”
A shipment of luxurious textiles carried dozens of stowaway chameleons from their home of Madagascar, to unleash a rainbow of terror at the Balenciaga show. Confused and hungry from the long journey, these go-with-anything lizards had mistaken several Eastern European models for their natural source of food, the praying mantis.
Upon identifying this food source they went about hiding themselves in plain view until the time was right to strike.
Uga Visczevslovich was the first attacked after an ill-fated decision to strike this pose for the Berlin media. Shortly afterwards she was overtaken by a throng of lizards in a dark corner backstage and her bones were picked clean. Upon finding her, photographers discovered she was dead only after four rolls of film, when they noticed she wasn’t moving quite as much as usual.
Seven more Balenciaga models were picked off one by one as they left the runway.
“We didn’t zink anyzing about ziss” said hairdresser Mita Zeus, on seeing seven models lying at sharp angles strewn unconscious about the floor. “Das ees und regular sing to zee at Fashion Week Berliner Yes? But zey still look fabulous und chic.”
But as always, in fashion, minor setbacks spring forth new ideas. Chameleons are renowned for their gift at blending in to any environment, which has quickly made them a sensation of the Fashion world. Adaptability and reinvention are the cornerstones of this multi-billion dollar industry, and the chameleon has what it takes.
Whether in the jungle, on safari, or sunbathing at Clooney’s villa on Lake Como, the chameleon is the perfect accessory and will always find a way to complement your ensemble. Why have a silk scarf in every color when you can purchase one well- trained chameleon at the paltry price of €150,000
As for the murder and mayhem? Forgiven! As Lagerfeld says, while fanning the chameleon clinging to his lapel, “We can forgive zis faux pas of murdering a few unnecessary girls. What zey have given us as ze perfect accessory is zo much more.”
Where can I get that kicky Betsy Johnson number?
ReplyDeleteAt any Betsey retail location. She has installed a reptile section right next to the shoes.
ReplyDeleteOops, I meant Betsey. Merde.
ReplyDeleteBetsy Schmetsy.... i wrote it wrong on the caption of the pic. too lazy to fix. yawn.
ReplyDelete