Clowns

Sea creatures are especially terrifying, what with their swimming and all, and there are many to be frightened of. Here are some of the usual suspects:

As you can see, they are super scary.

But 230,000 species of marine life call the ocean home, and all of them want to kill us. The one we should be most worried about is this guy:



Amphiprion percula. Clownfish. It delights us with its bright, happy colors and playful adventures with Dory. It helps sea anemones by eating little creatures off of them and then pooping on them. It is a better parent than most humans and is a hermaphrodite. (So, actually, when Nemo's mom died, Marlin should have turned into a lady.)

But not only is it a fish, therefore wanting to kill us, it is a clown, making it more likely to ride into town in a Volkswagen full of its friends and then torture and mutilate us with a big, creepy smile on its face before killing us.

There may not be any documented cases of clownfish attacks (yet), but here at they want to kill us, we think it's better to be safe than sorry.

p.s. Clownfishes are covered in mucus.