Twittering Reptiles

If you live in New York or anywhere with news, you probably know about the Egyptian cobra that escaped from the Bronx Zoo last Saturday. Well, today it was found, so this post isn't really breaking news so much as history or whatever. Sorry, we've had other things on our minds, like the war on Libya and the discovery of world's worst song ever.

Anyway, while on its bender, the snake created a Twitter account, and it is terrific! We hope it keeps posting even now that it's back under lock and key. Sssssss.

A Few Thoughts About Zoos

We've been thinking about zoos, and we have come to the conclusion that they are a bad thing.

First off, they're not a good place to meet guys. Most of the people there are kids or animals, and if they are guys, they are with their kids or lady friends. I may be married, so this isn't really an issue for me, but still.

Secondly, you can't drink your beverage with a straw. What's the fun of that?

On an animal note, whose brilliant idea was it to put all of our deadliest enemies within chatting distance of each other, with nothing more to do all day than mull over the fact that they are in cages and plot the collaborative overthrow of our species?

Yes, for the record, they want to kill us is against zoos, and we invite you to help us in our guerilla campaign to release the animals to the streets, where we will all be safer.