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they want to kill us

"Provocative." "Groundbreaking." "Daringly inept."

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Choose Your Own Ending: A Poll

By a north pacific giant octopus is going to kill me

WHOM WOULD YOU RATHER MATE WITH?*

*All things being equal and with the understanding that your partner would probably try to kill you

Labels: love, polls

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they want to kill us

Animals are great. We love them. But here at they want to kill us, we have uncovered a disturbing truth: they want to kill us. This site will shine a light on the other side of animal cruelty, the dark underworld of dancing dolphins and killer koalas.

We may not save your life, but we will never, ever tear your limbs off with our teeth.

humans on animals

“I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. But I know that, secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe.”

- Jack Handy, animal expert