A Sweet Ass Recipe for Some Bitchin' Polar Bear Gumbo

Before you start salivating all over your stupid faces, let me elaborate a bit more on the ingredients you'll need:
3 cans chicken broth
4 cans refried beans
1/2 lb. Polar Bear Liver
2 Tablespoons cumin
1/2 Teaspoon vanilla extract
18 eggs
8 gallons canned cheddar cheese
5 duck beaks
First, you'll need to crack each of the eggs individually over your own head and let them strain through your hair into a colander, which will then strain out your hair and pour the egg whites into a large bowl. Lackadaisically add the cumin and vanilla extract and stir vigorously. While this is going on, you should be starting to boil a pot filled with the chicken broth and equal parts water. Once it's reached a boil, cut up the duck beaks into 15 smaller divisions and stir them into the pot. Let boil for 45 minutes and 2 seconds, then remove from heat and let simmer.
During this time, you should have added the 8 gallons of cheese and the refried beans into your egg/vanilla mix. Stir maniacally until cheese and beans are fully dispersed amongst the eggs. Chop up the polar bear liver into tiny cubes and then add it to the cheese/bean/egg/vanilla goodness. Then, place all of this in the oven for 3 hours on 435 degrees Kelvin. Once it's finished, throw away the duck beaks and chicken broth and give the baked liver/cheese and beans to your neighbor and tell him it's his problem now.
Word to the wise: Never actually attempt to eat polar bear liver. You would be poisoined by the deadly amounts of Vitamin A that reside in it.
Okbyeeeeee