The Cicadas Are Coming!

If you are a Southerner, you probably can't read, so I'll talk directly to your friends and family in the north who can relay this message.

The cicadas are coming! The cicadas are coming!

They've been hiding underground in their cicada bunkers for 13 years, and now they've dug their way out and are coming for your southern relatives!

Cicadas are known to enjoy barbeque, grits, and rhubarb pie; and in an attack, they go straight for the eyes. So quick! Call your favorite southie, and read them this now, before it's too late: OH MAH GOD! THA CICADAS ARE COMIN'!  HIDE YO GUNS, LET THEM HAVE YO SWEET TEA AN' BISCUITS, DO NOT THROW A CONNIPTION FIT, AND TAKE COVAH ON THA VERANDA UNTIL THEY FLAH AWAY!

To learn more about this current attack, please check out The Huffington Post, our favorite source of nature news.